I've got your back if you've got my hand

It's harder to write when you're in a good mood. Why is that?

Although I still struggle a lot, I feel better than I have in almost a year. It seems like I go through these phases where God has to strip away my friendships to help me realize something, and it's hard but rewarding. But really, it's only hard on the..well, hard days. Only on those days where I slip back into the bitterness and depression. It's still so very easy to slip back into it, but I think I've gotten better at preventing that. In addition, I've been trying to be a nicer person. A lot of things have hardened me. One of my professors told us today in class that she can tell that the nurses who care are the ones who cry. I've developed myself to the point where I can block myself from caring-not that I don't care, but that I don't show it anymore, or that I show it in inappropriate ways. So my goal has been to be less mean, let myself cry, wear my emotions a little more publicly.

School and work have kept me busy as a bee this summer. Only two and a half weeks left, thank goodness. It's not like either of them are particularly difficult, but when you combine them plus having to wake up at or before 6 every morning, it wears a body out. I'm ready to have a good week or two to let myself sleep late (past 730) and do nothing.

I turn 21 in 6 days! I've let myself get excited about this one because I haven't been pumped for anything in a long time, and frankly, the last two birthdays sucked. Let's go 21!