Do Nothing

I hit the nail on the head tonight. I've realized the cause for some of my misfortunes.

I haven't forgiven myself for past mistakes.


I know I've been forgiven by God and others, but I still carry guilt. Which in turn leads me to be jealous of those who are-seemingly-doing better than I spiritually. These certain people--I don't want to hear about how great their relationship with God is, how great things have been for them. And that is so wrong.

I realize that forgiving myself is about perspective. The focus should be on Christ and how he has forgiven me and set me free. More often, however, it is on myself and how I've screwed up, or how others are doing so much better. A comparison.

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit." Young's literal translation says "nothing in rivalry or vain glory..." In other words, don't compare yourself! At Passion 2011, we were encouraged to remember this verse when we caught ourselves comparing.

But comparing ourselves is so ingrained in us, that we don't even realize we are doing it.


I guess for right now, the only answer I can come up with is to pray. Pray for humility, forgiveness, and freedom from guilt.