Thoughts of a worn out college student

I do some of my best thinking while driving. For instance, I can like something a lot, but also see the humor and why people make fun of it. Take Twilight. I am a closet Twilight fan. And I totally make fun of it with others.

I've been trying to realize ways in which I can better live out my faith without pushing it in people's throats (which I think at times is necessary, but is not conducive for building a relationship). Little things like smiling more, making an effort to say hello, to show an interest in people. I would "ask the audience," but there's not really much audience here so I'll leave it at that.

7 months of school left......

I've recently fallen in love with this little show called

Yep, I've hopped onto the bandwagon. Someone please say they have seasons 2 and/or3?!?? Netflix is behind the times with the instant watch.

I've finally joined the fitness center on campus! I got a card when I was a freshman, but never stepped foot inside the building. I figured since tuition is going up 8% and I'm paying for it, I might as well use it. PLUS, I found a workout buddy!! We decided to try the Hip Hop Jam class...my pride is a bit wounded, I must say, but it was totally fun. White girls weren't meant to move like that.


At long last, I'm on my last respite of summer. I have 6 days of no work and no school-so I'm going to Troy! Should be fun.

I shall leave you with some music. I got to see this band live, amazingly enough---NOBODY comes to rinkydink Alabama, but these guys did.
I don't know why they're playing in a warehouse with no roof in the snow, but there ya go...

Do Nothing

I hit the nail on the head tonight. I've realized the cause for some of my misfortunes.

I haven't forgiven myself for past mistakes.


I know I've been forgiven by God and others, but I still carry guilt. Which in turn leads me to be jealous of those who are-seemingly-doing better than I spiritually. These certain people--I don't want to hear about how great their relationship with God is, how great things have been for them. And that is so wrong.

I realize that forgiving myself is about perspective. The focus should be on Christ and how he has forgiven me and set me free. More often, however, it is on myself and how I've screwed up, or how others are doing so much better. A comparison.

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit." Young's literal translation says "nothing in rivalry or vain glory..." In other words, don't compare yourself! At Passion 2011, we were encouraged to remember this verse when we caught ourselves comparing.

But comparing ourselves is so ingrained in us, that we don't even realize we are doing it.


I guess for right now, the only answer I can come up with is to pray. Pray for humility, forgiveness, and freedom from guilt.

La tee dah

You know how when you were younger and you saw someone who was older than you and they were so cool? I even remember being in high school and seeing a college girl and thinking "man, she's so awesome. I can't wait until I'm in college."

That's me. I'm 21!?

I don't feel that old. I'll be 21 when I graduate. I'll be 21 when I-hopefully-pass the NCLEX and become a registered nurse. How weird is that?

So, in honor of my 21st birthday, my love for piano, and my deep appreciation for fantastic harmonies....here's a song! (Not the greatest in content, but, ya know...)

Perfect?

I've been thinking about the word "perfect" and the weight that is carried with it. It's so overused.


"He's the perfect guy...This thing is perfect...I just made the perfect sandwich."


I think sometimes the word "perfect" puts too much expectations on people. People are not perfect...even your spouse/significant other. Saying that they are perfect puts too much pressure on them. God is the only perfect.

Psalm 119:96 "To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless."

So, I am going to try to eliminate this word, "perfect," from my vocabulary when not used in reference to the only Perfect. Now "awesome"--that's an awesome word!

I've got your back if you've got my hand

It's harder to write when you're in a good mood. Why is that?

Although I still struggle a lot, I feel better than I have in almost a year. It seems like I go through these phases where God has to strip away my friendships to help me realize something, and it's hard but rewarding. But really, it's only hard on the..well, hard days. Only on those days where I slip back into the bitterness and depression. It's still so very easy to slip back into it, but I think I've gotten better at preventing that. In addition, I've been trying to be a nicer person. A lot of things have hardened me. One of my professors told us today in class that she can tell that the nurses who care are the ones who cry. I've developed myself to the point where I can block myself from caring-not that I don't care, but that I don't show it anymore, or that I show it in inappropriate ways. So my goal has been to be less mean, let myself cry, wear my emotions a little more publicly.

School and work have kept me busy as a bee this summer. Only two and a half weeks left, thank goodness. It's not like either of them are particularly difficult, but when you combine them plus having to wake up at or before 6 every morning, it wears a body out. I'm ready to have a good week or two to let myself sleep late (past 730) and do nothing.

I turn 21 in 6 days! I've let myself get excited about this one because I haven't been pumped for anything in a long time, and frankly, the last two birthdays sucked. Let's go 21!

Random Thought

I want a guy who will make me feel girlly, yet allow me to keep up with him.